Just A Mom Trying

Do you ever feel a little sense of stress around holidays? You know it doesn’t have to be Pinterest perfect, but you see the perfect celebration posted EVERYWHERE. You want your celebration to be a hit too. You feel the mom guilt to make it wonderful. The guilt that comes with spending too much. Or the guilt that maybe you did too little?

This year we are going to light that mom guilt up and send it sky high! We are going to talk about ways to not over spend, have a wonderful celebration, and to be present in the moment.

Let’s break down the common expectations for the fourth. The 4th of July we often see: elaborate fireworks, large spreads at the cookout, matching family outfits (with the perfect picture), meticulously decorated homes, and a very large crowd of guests.

This “ideal” 4th causes more stress than it is worth; over-spending, no help with setting up or cleaning up, and socializing with people you really don’t care to. All of this to “keep up with the Joneses.” Do you remember the old-school classic celebrations from when we were kids? Wasn’t it still a magical day for us? This one will be too, even if you keep things simple.

If you receive an invitation and it doesn’t fit with your plans or budget, it is ok to graciously decline. Don’t feel like you have to people please and attend every 4th party, plus parade and fair. Pick one thing you enjoy.

If you are hosting this year and are feeling overwhelmed by it all, I got you. Let’s start with what is absolutely necessary, and ways to spruce it up on a budget.

• Location: Your backyard or a local park can be perfect and free! Just ensure bathroom access.
• Seating/Tables: Ask guests to bring their own chairs to save on rentals, or borrow tables from friends.
• Plates/Cups/Utensils/Serving Utensils/Napkins: Opt for reusable options you already own, or choose simple, sturdy paper plates and a roll of paper towels for easy cleanup over fancy printed ones. If using disposable cups, provide a marker so everyone can write their name on it.
• Shade if outdoors: Utilize natural shade from trees or set up pop-up canopies you own or borrow.
• Cooler full of cold drinks/Ice: Ask guests to bring a cooler with their favorite drinks/BYOB, or make large pitchers of water, lemonade, or iced tea to save on individual drinks.
• Food/Dessert: Plan a potluck where everyone brings something to contribute, or focus on grilling budget-friendly burgers and hot dogs. Decide on 1-2 simple sides, or just easy appetizers or desserts if that’s more cost-effective.
• Trash: Have large bags ready — perhaps recruit the kids for trash duty before fireworks begin!
• Mosquito Repellent: A Must! Consider a large spray bottle for communal use.
• Lighting after dark: Use string lights you already have, solar-powered garden lights, or even battery-operated lanterns for ambiance.

First, establish a budget to help combat that dreaded mom guilt. Next, review your guest list: Are you inviting people because you genuinely enjoy their company, or out of obligation? Remember, a smaller guest list can significantly cut down on costs, and inviting someone with kids around your children’s age can provide entertainment for everyone.

Beyond the essentials, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Make a list of what food and drinks you need, along with any plates and utensils. Also include what tasks you could use help with. Then, send the list out to the guests for them to choose what to bring, or delegate it out.

This collaborative approach significantly reduces your costs. Just a friendly reminder: if Aunt Sue makes the best potato salad, make sure cousin Sally doesn’t call first dibs to bring the inedible potato salad!

For your menu, will it be more cost-effective to grill out burgers and dogs, a whole brisket, taco bar, or do small appetizers only (e.g., chips and dip, fruit and veggies, jalapeño poppers, Frito pie). Decide on 1-2 sides, or even focus solely on desserts. If you plan to provide everything, shop around for the deals and consider buying some items in bulk.

When it comes to food, don’t stress over elaborate, Pinterest-perfect desserts like a flag made out of jello. While it might look great for a minute, your guests (and especially kids!) will likely prefer a simple cobbler, Popsicles or ice cream — and so will your budget!

Similarly, simplify your decorations. Look into Dollar Tree and the dollar spots at your favorite stores for inexpensive ideas. Remember, it’s easy to get carried away, but skipping overly themed decorations, pretty (and thin) paper plates, and flag-printed (non-absorbent) napkins can save you money and stress.

Another big ticket item is fireworks. Do you really need them? Will your community or neighbors be setting off a good show you can watch? Can you supplement with a few sparklers and fountains?

If you plan to have a large show, shop around all the stands and see where the best deals are. Some places are better for the smaller items and others for the bigger ones.

If you are really brave, you can wait until the last minute to score the best deals. They usually knock prices down low before they close up shop on the 4th. Keep in mind that some of the best things may be gone, though. Again, see if your guest can contribute.

Another option to reduce stress and cost is to host just for dinner and have everyone leave before the fireworks begin. Just be sure to communicate this ahead of time.

Most importantly, take a deep breath. Fix yourself a plate of delicious food, enjoy the fireworks, and take pictures with those you love. Holidays shouldn’t be a performance — You’ve put together a nice event, so let the stress go and simply be present and happy. Don’t worry about what your co-worker is posting on social media, or compare yourself to others; that doesn’t help you at all.

What you do is enough!

What is one must have you can’t let go of for the 4th? What is one area that causes the most stress and that you can let go?

I hope you all have a safe and happy 4th of July!